This blog is about all things poetry. I will post my own poetry and write articles about ways for people to write, edit and publish their own poetry. There will be interviews also with poets. There will be poetry tips and words of encouragement also.
I realized today that your door Is much more than a piece of wood Shaped to fit your doorway With an entry and exit point. I realize that your door moves In time with your emotions. As your emotions are fleeting But felt very deeply, It means your door is never Stuck in one position long. I’ve seen the anger that slams Your door with force. Witnessed the sorrow that keeps your door closed as you listen to Your spiritual music. When you are happy and approachable Then your door remains wide open, Letting in light from the hallway and Removing the physical barrier. Your door is a visible, tangible thing, Yet it is an emotional barrier when You are actively shutting me out And ignoring me. Your cold shoulder is portrayed Through your closed door. As you firmly lock yourself away Like Cinderella trapped in her tower. Except you trap yourself by choice. You have a door of emotions That I don’t know how to navigate. How to figure out a way to reach you. Because this is not just as simple As opening your door. Not when it involves your emotions That change quicker than the seasons. And I don’t know what side of your door That I will see tomorrow.
I never know what to do when they argue. When a minor conflict is inflated to new heights Shouts, accusations, and failures revealed On both ends Long pauses and expectations on me To get involved Yet I don’t want to. I want to maintain my inner peace And love and embrace both sides.
Why am I always in the middle? The silent child then, now the hidden adult. Still expected to blindly pledge allegiance. Forced to appease both sides. To calm two warring egos. A task that I was never officially assigned
Yet I can’t escape the restrictive chains That force me to make a choice On who is right or wrong Within the same family.
I am the silent sibling, and the obedient daughter And both sides want me to be something For them. How can I choose between blood? Between separate bonds formed from birth That I can’t and refuse to break on either side.
I hate being in the middle. I am neither a mediator nor a judge Not a referee or a traitor For choosing to continue a relationship With both sides.
I hate the disappointment in their eyes But it’s not my responsibility to remove it. I don’t want to be in the middle…ever. Yet I am
I used to struggle to see the growth in myself but I could always view it easily in others. I just saw my setbacks and issues that I needed to work on.
Very few positives would be used to describe myself and my life journey so far. I am not pessimistic, generally, but it was hard to see real growth and positivity when I was surrounded by people telling me every goal and responsibility and milestone that I had to reach to be successful, so I found myself inevitably following the path they set for me. Along the way I’d compare myself to their standards and fail each time.
This year, however I can’t explain what changed but I’ve been truly learning to live for me. To try to accommodate myself in whatever ways are necessary for my PDA/Autism and ADHD, but more so for myself as a human being that is deserving of love, joy and hope and comfortability. I stopped denying myself basic supports and basic human decency. I started speaking up for myself more and advocating for myself.
All of these are things I never felt comfortable enough to do, nor did it feel like something I was capable of doing. Looking back at my life, and at myself now, I can safely say, that I am proud of my growth and my ability to overcome the setbacks that were like anchors, keeping me bound to an unhappy, unfulfilled and uncomfortable life.
What’s a common misconception people have about happiness?
A common misconception is that money can make people happy. It really only buys temporary satisfaction, which in my opinion is vastly different from true happiness.
Do you play in your daily life? What says “playtime” to you?
That would be the downtime that I get to read through a book that I have stored on my digital library shelf. It would also be having time to write songs and poems while listening to music.
Playtime at this point in my life isn’t really going to clubs or even really having endless friend outings like in my 20s. They aren’t bad things to do in my 30s, but I shifted away from desiring that like I used to. Now, I find joy in having peace for a little bit to enjoy my writing, special interests hobbies, watch a series episode or 2, watch a movie.
Playtime to me, isn’t necessarily about the actions I do with that time. It’s about having downtime in general to “play” around with.
Based on my 1st blog post “Poetry is My Oxygen”, where I wrote about my poetry start and love. I wrote this paragraph “I have always loved poetry from the moment I first read my 16 year old sister’s poems when I was 11 years old – I’ve been hooked. It fascinated me to discover that there is a style of writing with such a beautiful sound, almost like a cadence or a heart beat. I had to try it out for myself.”
This is the reason that I am starting the poet interviews with my sister:
Kevina T.
My sister: Kevina T.
Interview
Q1: How did you first get into writing poetry—was there a specific story or mentor that set you on this path? A1: My love of writing started with reading. I enjoyed a good book as a kid and how it could transport you into the role of the characters you’d read about. Once I got into middle school reading and writing went together called language arts. In those classes I was challenged to use my imagination and translate it into word form. Once I started high school the writing got more intense and started to come from a deeper place because I started to experience more growing up. I didn’t know or understand what I was feeling and going through so I decided to journal like “Doug”. But then it developed more into spoken word like music then into poetry.
Q2: Which poets or authors have had the most profound impact on your own creative soul?
A2:The only poets I grew up learning about was “Maya Angelou and Langston ” the black American writers of the past became the reason it made sense to write about my experiences
Q3: What do you find beautiful or inspiring in everyday life that often finds its way into your work?” A3: I refer to the sky a lot in my poems. But truly nature and its mysteries is what I pull from to give clarity on where I’m going with my thoughts
Q4: Do you prefer working within traditional poetic forms, or do you find more freedom in free verse or experimental styles?”
A4: I prefer to freestyle my writing I find when I try to stick to a format my writing gets lost and doesn’t flow as well.
Q5: What is the one piece of advice you wish you had received when you first started writing?”
A5: One piece of advice would be to keep writing. Don’t stop developing your talents
Q6: What message or emotional impact do you hope your readers take away from your work?
A6: That life is about growth you never have it figured out, just live in the moments learn from the past and enjoy the ride.
Do you have a message to say to the readers? Thank you so much for this opportunity to share with you my journey with writing
Kevina T. hasn’t written as much recently but her gift and love of writing has never went away. She writes songs and poems whenever opportunity and inspiration strikes.
I started this interview wanting to allow my readers to learn about my sister, who influenced my poetry journey…and I ended up learning things about her that I never knew as well.
I wish her the best on her journey and it was my pleasure and an honor to write about her poetic connection and story.
Thank you for reading this post. One of her poems included below:
Judge By Kevina T.
The rules as I choose. – Are not simple, but misused… To find a way around.. Things lost and never found
The ode to life is “Happy Wife, Happy life’. When life is not fulfilling Does it mean the wife is not willing…
To commit to her roles and all the rules she must uphold.
Love Honor and Obey… With these laws she must pay…the ultimate price with her life…forever confined to the rules…Against her Ode to life.. Happy life, Happy Wife…
I realized after reading my poetry blog bio, that there are some things I haven’t done yet for Poetic Blueprint. One of those things is to interview poets. So I am currently writing a template of questions, then I will seek out a poet to interview for my blog and post it with their permission.
If anyone is interested or knows someone who is interested, let me know and we can work out the details via email,
Poetic Blueprint 